A year ago today I went to an appointment that saved my life.
A year ago today I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
In some ways it feels like yesterday, in some ways it feels like a lifetime ago. Almost everything has changed in the last year and this year will influence everything in the our future.
It is still so difficult to comprehend that this year has happened, and that it happened to us. We try to get on with life as ‘normal’, but sometimes something jars us into re-realising. Something as simple as a glance in the mirror can catch me unawares – my short hair a symbol of the loss of choice this year, the loss of ownership of my body. Still sometimes when I’m in the shower I go to wash my right boob and there’s a moment of slight surprise when it isn’t there. Weird huh?!
Sometimes Dan and I just stop and say ‘What the f***? Is this really real?’ and yes the cliche ‘Was it all a dream?’ has actually crossed our minds.
It’s been quite a year with a lot of tough times, but there have been a lot of positives to come out of it which we try to focus on. Life has been on pause for a year and we’re not quite ready to hit ‘play’ yet, but we will. We’ve met a lot of wonderful people who have confirmed our faith in human nature. Precious friendships have been appreciated more than ever before. We’ve discovered we are stronger than we thought. We have cried a lot, but not as much as you might think. We’ve generally managed to plough on through with one aim – to be together, us three, stronger than ever and with a future to look forward to.
While it’s a year we would never wish to repeat, we have at least achieved our aim, and we’re working on being content with that rather than frustrated at what we’ve lost.